Spotting beautiful flowers in any community is delightfully welcoming. Putting a smile on our faces during any kind of day or a slight smile on a not so good day or a bigger smile on the already best day ever. It's the community's natural pick me ups & a way of helping out.
Hello on this Monday, on this freakin' Monday!
Tip #19- Help when you can.
When it comes to helping out family members, friends, strangers, etc… are you the kind of person who believes it's always necessary & important to help out whenever possible? You know like those people who stretch out their helping hand with no ifs or buts & they're regarded as the most reliable, trustworthy members of the community in many peoples' eyes.
Or are you more like the reserved person who is choosy when it comes down to you going out of the way for someone else's favor? Choosy in the type of trouble it is & for whom you are doing this for. First wondering then analyzing how is this going to affect ME, what's in it for ME, is it worth it along with remembering back on the favors this person might have done for you so far. As the final result, you make the decision to help because it is about time or perhaps the perfect time to return the favor (the strict "give and take").
For me, I'm a mix of both- eager to help out but also reserved by thinking 2, 3, 4 times about it. When it comes to family, friends, or people I know, I help. As long as it's not ridiculous or morally wrong, why wouldn't I be there for them? Of course sometimes I might be initially irked if the problematic situation is complicated, long & so unnecessary but it's all about showing + adding more onto the love for one another by helping. It comes from that vibrant but also soft goodness part of our hearts.
When it's dealing with strangers though, I am reserved & skeptical because I rather not cross the line and come off too aggressive towards people I never met. You never know if they really need help or if they honestly prefer doing it themselves and/or it may look like a "helpless" situation to you but it's not for them in their case. But if there's danger & it's pretty darn obvious then helping is the only option!
A help whether it be a small one or a big one, all of them become gratifications. It's the comfortable feeling of knowing that you are part of a community, sometimes not just to one but more wherever you may be. It not only brightens up your day but also brightens up the days of those who were in need. There's nothing better than hearing earnest thank you's to "If it wasn't for you…" to "You are awesome". Your capabilities, your potential adds onto the value of you. They make you all the more special while you also made other people feel special by caring for them & helping because they're worth it. Help is the real meaning of "nice." Not the kind of "nice" that you used to describe someone half heartedly because you wanted to be… nice. Instead the "nice" with a sense of hope & a fraction of happiness in a calm & pleasant way.
The ironic thing is when we think of help, the help we give or receive, we automatically think of them as positive things but there are actual times when they aren't. And with knowing that sometimes help is not always a good thing, some of us also get confused by people who could care less about anyone else's troubles. They would really prefer not to help. What's even more wrong is when they still don't contribute even though they were asked by someone they know especially.
When you go overboard with your helping by being nosy & butting into other people's business, that's when the help isn't considered a positive thing. You weren't asked but you go on & on thinking it will benefit the person but instead it ends up burdening the person who never asked for any help in the first place.
It takes time & realizations I think to know what is really helping a person & what is really not. Help eventually becomes a positive thing again through continuous observations, learning from past mistakes, fighting through misconceptions and most importantly, understanding that each of us have different perceptions in what we need and want.
As for those who hold onto their title of being selfish very strongly… it's disheartening and at times upsetting. The bottom line is, it's hard to change anyone's selfishness. That is really a personal matter which he/she can only change. Taking the time to stop ignoring, being less oblivious, picking the best batch of judgments and decreasing the amount of ME's in your life can all bring out better changes.
Once we open up to that sense of community and we help out, it's a whole new different world. A whole new different type of happiness and meanings of encouragement & looking out for one another.
In this wonderful community of blogging, I would love to know your thoughts on the terms of helping out =)
Have a good one~!